Live and Learn

So,all week long I have been freaked out knowing Saturday would be my first long run or 6 miles, or was supposed to be. I had two good 3 mile range runs Tuesday and Thursday and had run 3 miles or so last Saturday so I was back on track. Shins have there moments on and off but overall healthy. I was nervous and tense, well freaked out about this impending 6 mile run all day Friday.


I mapped out a gorgeous flat course along the ocean and started mentally preparing myself. Whay am I so freaked out? I ran a 5 mile race and did it, 6 can't be much worse. Something in my head was causing me to have a mental block. A bock that was filling me with anxiety and dread.

I awoke Saturday morning and started freaking out about hydration. I had been learning all week long from fellow all ears team members about hydration strategies and replacing electrolytes and how important this is. So, I was drinking water and coffee, Saturday morning which then resulted in bathroom trips and then I was full so I did not eat anything, I was nervous and could not get my sneakers tied just the right way. I was feeling pressure and the "I can't do this" voice was having a party in my brain. Stupidly, I did not head out until 9ish. It was a warm beach day and was 80ish. I did not bring any water never mind electrolyte water, nor money. DADADADUM< the death noise, I killed my run with that step.

I started out with the usual first 10 minutes hard, sneakers, needed to be adjusted, shins sore, sports bra tugging, but after 20 minutes settled into a groove, I was running super slow on purpose to conserve energy, I was just about mile 3 the turn around point at the end of Nahant beach when it hit me. The nauseating feeling of heat exhaustion, face burning, stomach upset, feeling like I might pass out, I weighed continuing, but without water, was afraid of really hurting myself.

I have been spoiled by the races with water stops along the way and hoses. I admitted defeat and the frustrating part was that I knew I could do it, make it the whole way, had I had water.

After walking the last 3 miles, trying not to feel too defeated, but I did, I went to the running store and bought myself a hydration belt. I also bought the lemon lime flavor GU20 electrolyte powder mix and some GU energy gels.

Of course, I was painfully reminded that I am still a Heffalump after three months of hard work when the first two hydration belts would not fit around my waist, as if my self esteem had not already taken a hard enough hit today with my failed run.

Anyhow, the 6 mile run is rescheduled for Tuesday, Monday I am going to try a timed mile. Still need to get a Garmin, not sure if I should splurge on the heart monitor with it or not, can't imagine wearing the chest strap to be honest and the hydration belt and the Garmin while running.

Overall, I am in a bit of a slump I would say, too many long exhausting days alone with the kids. I have gained a couple of pounds which is annoying due to the numerous nights out and weddings and such we have been doing. I need to get this 6 mile run out of the way Tuesday and hopefully that will get me more confidence.