Ok, so I like doing races. They are a challenge, an excitement. It is fun to scope out a race on cool runnings and make it happen. I have to say though once I get there I am a ball of nerves and insecurity.
I AM THE FAT CHICK!!!!!
Everyone there is sculpted and formed, muscles ripling, doing funky warm ups and exercises and then there is me, the Heffalump eating hay before the race. People look at me and quickly look away avoiding eye contact.
I know that once the race starts I will be the last one.
As hard as it is for me to swallow it is ok because I am the last one running the race, not the last one thinking about it or almost signing up for it, but I am doing it.
Ok, I sound brave, but really I am ashamed, embaresed and humiliated. I use those feelings though to go on.
Today was tough, I was of course the last one, all alone, but I did it. I ran a four mile race today. I DID IT! Alone, but I did it. It hurt, but I did it. I was slow, but I did it.
I feel good, still insecure, but proud. I am on my way. Three races under my belt, and I am enjoying them.
It is still not getting easier but that has to change at some point.
Come on everyone come run with me, if I can do it anyone can!!!
Success depends on a fellows will for its all in the state of mind......
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