When you are facing something as historic, as legendary, as numbing as the Boston Marathon it is complicated. It plays with your mind. You wonder if you are dreaming. How did you get here? Is this real? I grew up in Providence, RI and my first introduction to the marathon was when I was a junior in high school and in photography class. My teacher was watching people running on tv. I asked what he was watching and he told me the Boston marathon. All I took from that was, wow how cool, they get the day off from school in MA??? My next experience with the Boston marathon were during post college years when I watched with admiration runners every year running through Boston. I always felt this longing in myself like something was missing, like I was missing. I wanted to run. I needed to run. I wanted to be like every runner out there. I needed to do this.
Years and Years and Years went by before I got my chance. Ok so the 2010 Boston Marathon will always go down for me as being one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Not because I got a number, not because I did it, not because of the beautiful day, not because I finished it, but because of the ending, it all started at mile 24 when my friends Josh and Cailin showed up to get me to the finish.
I ran what I call the "loserville" Boston marathon, I was too slow, when I got to Natick, Wellesley, Newton no one was there and no one cared. It was not until Brookline that the drunk brigade came to my rescue! The drunk residents of Brookline supported me and when I was tired of being serenaded by drunk people, I think at least 5 drunk men ranging in age from 25 to 45 grabbed my hand and serenaded me the Barrilow tune "Oh Mandy", my good friends and my kids rescued me!
When Josh and Cailin met me it all clicked, they walked me to the finish, I was jogging but they were walking, hmm I guess I was jogging pretty slow at that point and I don't know if I could have made it without them. They supported me and when I was feeling embarrassed they made me feel special, when I felt like a failure they made me feel like a marathoner!
We met up with my kids at Kenmore who were so excited to see me. They did not realize that I was one of the last finishers they did not care. They just saw me running and they were excited and proud and then I felt proud. I kept running and then all of a sudden I realized that they were running with me.
The streets were all still closed at this point and I felt like I was in a real race again.
We all ran together a right on Hereford and a left on Boylston. We were all running together down Boylston. My coach was there waiting for me. There were crowds cheering me and police and I was running to the finish and suddenly it was there and I crossed the finish line with my kids.
What a feeling, what a memory! I am still confused by what I did. Still in shock that I traveled through Hopkinton, Ashland, Natick, Framingham, Wellesley, Newton, Brookline into Boston, 26.2 miles all on foot.
I thought because I got there after the official timing had stopped that no one would care, no one would be there, I would not get a medal, but the support from the crowds running through Kenmore, running down Bolyston was incredible, everyone was cheering and yelling and clapping. One woman said to me the Charity runners are angels! It was remarkable.
I had prepared myself not to expect a medal, and I kept telling myself that it did not matter, but when I crossed the finished and I walked a few feet to one of the organizers and they placed a medal around my neck, I began sobbing. My name would not be in the paper or in the official records, because I was too slow, but I have my medal and I have my memories and most importantly, I have my pride. I did it! From couch to Boston marathon in one year!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
12 days to go, hopes and fears
I have 12 days till I run my first marathon, I am in what is called the taper period. The time frame where you rest your body and fuel with good protein and carbohydrates and allow your muscles to repair and build oxygen supplies and get stronger. I feel ancy, like I need a good long run, but I am told that that is a healthy and natural feeling.
My running coach has been providing us with helpful information and advice. I have been trying to sit more and eat more protein and fight the urge to run 13 miles this weekend because I really would love to.
I can't believe I just said that, but it is true. Running for long runs is peaceful and makes you feel alive.
Emotionally I am not as zen. I am freaked out of my mind. Wondering if I can finish, wondering how badly it will hurt. Hoping to not have a heart attack, hoping for no terrible blisters or pulls along the way. Hoping that I can hydrate myself accurately and fuel myself so that my legs don't turn into cement between 18 and 20 miles.
I have deiced that no matter how I feel, I will smile and be polite to heartbreak hill, I will not curse and be miserable.
I have huge anxiety that I will be all alone running, the last one out of 16 thousand people making my way to Boston and thinking about how humiliating that will feel.
My biggest hope is that I will cross the finish line in under 7 hours.
My biggest fear is that I will have a heart attack and die along the way or get that scary over hydration problem where your brain swell, you get confused and then you die.
My absolute fear is that I won't finish.
Mu number is 26657, please come out to the race and cheer me on in Boston or track me.
I will have my cell phone so feel free to text me words of encouragement, my cell is 617-642-7667
I will try to tweet as well and that is mommymouseplans.
My oracle or running a member of my running team, a goddess of running and wisdom responded to me kindly when I asked her if I was Fu@$ed due to my training gaps, well yes and know, but stressed that it is all mental if you keep the mental in line you will be fine.
That has always been my overall strength. Being positive, staying positive and believing in the magic and wonder of dreams.
It has always been my dream to run the Boston Marathon and on Monday April 19, I plan on working my hardest to make that dream come true
My running coach has been providing us with helpful information and advice. I have been trying to sit more and eat more protein and fight the urge to run 13 miles this weekend because I really would love to.
I can't believe I just said that, but it is true. Running for long runs is peaceful and makes you feel alive.
Emotionally I am not as zen. I am freaked out of my mind. Wondering if I can finish, wondering how badly it will hurt. Hoping to not have a heart attack, hoping for no terrible blisters or pulls along the way. Hoping that I can hydrate myself accurately and fuel myself so that my legs don't turn into cement between 18 and 20 miles.
I have deiced that no matter how I feel, I will smile and be polite to heartbreak hill, I will not curse and be miserable.
I have huge anxiety that I will be all alone running, the last one out of 16 thousand people making my way to Boston and thinking about how humiliating that will feel.
My biggest hope is that I will cross the finish line in under 7 hours.
My biggest fear is that I will have a heart attack and die along the way or get that scary over hydration problem where your brain swell, you get confused and then you die.
My absolute fear is that I won't finish.
Mu number is 26657, please come out to the race and cheer me on in Boston or track me.
I will have my cell phone so feel free to text me words of encouragement, my cell is 617-642-7667
I will try to tweet as well and that is mommymouseplans.
My oracle or running a member of my running team, a goddess of running and wisdom responded to me kindly when I asked her if I was Fu@$ed due to my training gaps, well yes and know, but stressed that it is all mental if you keep the mental in line you will be fine.
That has always been my overall strength. Being positive, staying positive and believing in the magic and wonder of dreams.
It has always been my dream to run the Boston Marathon and on Monday April 19, I plan on working my hardest to make that dream come true
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
20 mile race
So, I knew I had to try, so i signed up for the legendary pre training Boston marathon race the eastern states 20 mile race with my all ears team running bud Josh. i was nervous going into the race for all of my reasons I have previously discussed. It was pretty amazing to stand next to the legendary Hoyts pre-race. This race starts at Kittery Maine and finishes at Hampton Beach, it is described as a flat and fast course. Hmm, the fist 3 miles were hilly and not flat crossing two bridges and running through downtown Portsmouth, then it got flat and could have been beautiful if not for the 35-40 mile per hour head and cross winds. Running through Rye , NH should have been a beautiful and relaxing experience, but instead it was taxing and exhausting culminating in a mile between 10 and 11 so treacherous that I had my arm up while running and for every step forward was being blown back two steps. At that point I stopped. There was no way I could continue fighting these forces for another 9 miles. It was disappointing, but also exhilarating, I felt great! Not out of breath, legs were not toast. I felt i could have gone farther if not for the winds. it makes me nervous for race day conditions. this is the second long run that has been cut short due to strong headwinds, makes me a bit nervous, but, I have no choice but to stay positive and keep training and moving forward.
Mental Wars
Last week was as far as training weeks go, a terrible, awful, very bad no good week. I got a mental panic and that froze my training. I started the week off Friday with a good run, it was a hilly 5 mile run that started off tough and finished off great. But then a weekend of fun culminated in sick children and exhaustion and work stress and a loss of a long run which then became a week of rest due to a very sick baby, bad weather and work pressures. I being the extremist that I am said ok one week off equals 20 mile race on Sunday. I will blog about that next, but what I have to come to realize is that running is so mentally exhausting. I have a constant fear and pressure that I am an awful runner and a slow runner and a fat runner and I have no business being out there. Then I beat myself up and it keeps me from getting out there. Then I force myself to go and within 30 minutes, I feel great and I love running, I feel strong, I feel alive and I think that this is what makes me happy, this is what I have been missing. When I run regularly, everything in my life falls into place and feels manageable. When I don't run things feel overwhelming and out of control. I have this constant battle of I love running I hate running, when in fact I hate not running.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Training Confusion
Ok I think training for a marathon especially the Boston marathon is a lot more complex than training for a 1/2 marathon. There are tons of different opinions out there on how often and how much to run, how often and how much to cross train. The different types of running you should be doing. All of this has left me very very confused.
The one constant I know is that I need to do a long run of increasing distance each week.
I also now know that I need to focus on running hills for one of my hour long runs each week.
I also have decided to run one temo run each week where I vary my speeds.
I am also considering adding in another run each week just to up my fitness level and see if I can drop a few more pounds.
Cross training is hard, due to limited time.
I have been frustrated by some blogs that are out there right now. I have been looking for resources on fat runers like me and came acrosss one obnoxious man who stated in his blog that fat people had no business running and training for a marathon because it is obviously not working for you.
I am going to keep on trying, keep my head up and know that if I keep working hard and believe in myself, I can do this.
I want to finish even if it takes me 7-8 hours, I want to cross that finish line and fat or not I believe that if you are willing to train and go for it then you should do it with your head held high.
The one constant I know is that I need to do a long run of increasing distance each week.
I also now know that I need to focus on running hills for one of my hour long runs each week.
I also have decided to run one temo run each week where I vary my speeds.
I am also considering adding in another run each week just to up my fitness level and see if I can drop a few more pounds.
Cross training is hard, due to limited time.
I have been frustrated by some blogs that are out there right now. I have been looking for resources on fat runers like me and came acrosss one obnoxious man who stated in his blog that fat people had no business running and training for a marathon because it is obviously not working for you.
I am going to keep on trying, keep my head up and know that if I keep working hard and believe in myself, I can do this.
I want to finish even if it takes me 7-8 hours, I want to cross that finish line and fat or not I believe that if you are willing to train and go for it then you should do it with your head held high.
1st Long run on the course
I awoke last Sunday with a huge pit of nervousness in my stomach. It was my first long run on the course with the team. I was filled with insecurities and knew that I would be the slowest, most inexperienced, fatest person running and that is a lot to deal with. This was also combined with the fact that I knew I was behind in my running schedule. My last long run was January 6 the 1/2 marathon. Today was March 7, so I had some ground to make up.
I arrived at the John Hancock center at 8:00am and the one good thing I had on my side was the weather. It was already warm and forecast to be 50 degrees, balmy training weather for the Northeast in March. Of course, I show up and am surrounded by 125 young, perfect and fit people. There are a handful of us on the team over 24 years old, but everyone is more fit than me. I am the only heffalump.
I struck up a conversation with a nice woman who also told me she was a beginner runner and looked to be in the over 35 category. She was kind and offered to run with me when I told her I was slow. She of course blew me away once we started running. I did not realize how hilly this course would be. We started at the finish line and after everyone on the team passed me and I was running alone, I started to enjoy the scenery. I ran through Kenmore square, up Beacon street, up, up, up, was the word that was echoing in my mind. Ran up coolidge corner, up to chestnut hill, up to Boston College and this is where my legs started to fatigue. This run was entirely up hill! Finally I hit Newton and started to run downhill, there were a lot of other runners out there of course all fitter and faster than me. It felt good to finally run downhill and before I knew it, I was at my 7 mile turn around point. I turned around and suddenly realized what I had been running down. HEARTBREAK HILL, gasp, I started wogging up the long, long, long, long incline and finally made it to the top and started retracing my route back.
Everything started to hurt around coolidge corner, my feet, my legs, I was so tired. I slowed down and was doing a steady wog. I ran through Kenmore Square, but when I hit Commonwealth, I had to stop and walk for the first time. Actually limp was more accurate. I limped back to the Prudential Mall and then started jogging again to the finish. I didt it, 14 miles on the course. It was long and painful and slow, but I did it.
I had run from 9 am until 1pm, 4 hours, scary. I am so slow and this really eats at me. How does everyone else run so fast? Why can't I? I was exhausted. I am not a napper, but I actually fell asleep in the car on the ride home. Then I was so tired and so sore that I could barely move the rest of the day. But I did it! The promsing fact is that the next day, I did not feel too badly. I recovered much faster than I had after the half marathon, each week now will bring longer and longer runs and I hope my body is able to improve and rebuild stronger and faster with each run. I have to say I am scared and nervous about how difficult this marathon will be, but I am up to the challenge.
Boston bring it on!
I arrived at the John Hancock center at 8:00am and the one good thing I had on my side was the weather. It was already warm and forecast to be 50 degrees, balmy training weather for the Northeast in March. Of course, I show up and am surrounded by 125 young, perfect and fit people. There are a handful of us on the team over 24 years old, but everyone is more fit than me. I am the only heffalump.
I struck up a conversation with a nice woman who also told me she was a beginner runner and looked to be in the over 35 category. She was kind and offered to run with me when I told her I was slow. She of course blew me away once we started running. I did not realize how hilly this course would be. We started at the finish line and after everyone on the team passed me and I was running alone, I started to enjoy the scenery. I ran through Kenmore square, up Beacon street, up, up, up, was the word that was echoing in my mind. Ran up coolidge corner, up to chestnut hill, up to Boston College and this is where my legs started to fatigue. This run was entirely up hill! Finally I hit Newton and started to run downhill, there were a lot of other runners out there of course all fitter and faster than me. It felt good to finally run downhill and before I knew it, I was at my 7 mile turn around point. I turned around and suddenly realized what I had been running down. HEARTBREAK HILL, gasp, I started wogging up the long, long, long, long incline and finally made it to the top and started retracing my route back.
Everything started to hurt around coolidge corner, my feet, my legs, I was so tired. I slowed down and was doing a steady wog. I ran through Kenmore Square, but when I hit Commonwealth, I had to stop and walk for the first time. Actually limp was more accurate. I limped back to the Prudential Mall and then started jogging again to the finish. I didt it, 14 miles on the course. It was long and painful and slow, but I did it.
I had run from 9 am until 1pm, 4 hours, scary. I am so slow and this really eats at me. How does everyone else run so fast? Why can't I? I was exhausted. I am not a napper, but I actually fell asleep in the car on the ride home. Then I was so tired and so sore that I could barely move the rest of the day. But I did it! The promsing fact is that the next day, I did not feel too badly. I recovered much faster than I had after the half marathon, each week now will bring longer and longer runs and I hope my body is able to improve and rebuild stronger and faster with each run. I have to say I am scared and nervous about how difficult this marathon will be, but I am up to the challenge.
Boston bring it on!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Day 1 of Hard Core Boston Marathon Training begins
So I have to admit, I have been going through a funky phase since I returned from Disney on the heels of accomplishing my goal to run the Disney 1/2 marathon. I did it and it was amazing and hard and fun and everything I had hoped it to be and more. I enjoyed my fabulous vacation with my family and returned home and a combination of things happened that led to a 6 week running slump.
1. After I returned, it was soooo cold and I felt like giving myself a 2 week vacation from running, after all, I had trained and worked so hard and earned it, so I felt justified in savoring my accomplishment and relaxing my muscles for a couple of week. Plus with constant snowstorms, my hate of the treadmill and sub 20 degree weather, I was ready for a break.
2. My son, whom I love so much and who has multiple disabilities suffered a downturn and went through a very tough time, forcing the necessity of several doctors appointments and additional attention and love and drain and wear and tear on me. Definitely made me very sad as we worked through helping him get back on track.
3. I then suffered from what was either a nasty three week flu or a chemical pregnancy, either way, for three weeks, I was exhausted, nauseous and overall sick.
This past week , I looked at the calendar and went UH OH! I am running the Boston Marathon in 8 weeks, 8 weeks from today in fact, I need to get on track!!!!
Now for me, running has meant so much to me this past almost full year now and has changed my life in so many ways. I am now a runner and while I know 6 weeks slumps may and will happen, the important thing is that I don't give up. I am never going back to being a sedentary depressed blob. I may still look like a blob, but I am not a sedentary, depressed blob!
I am going to do this and I want to do this, if you believe you can and you commit yourself mentally to a challenge you can and will achieve it.
Last night, I had a talk with myself. No more excuses, no more resting, it is time to take charge, work through the obstacles and get back on track.
That means not just a training change, but of course from now until the marathon, I have to completely change my mental attitude, thinking, and lifestyle.
1. I have to maintain a running schedule of a minimum of three runs a week and a maximum of four, two to three will be shorter runs of 4 to 8 miles and one longer run increasing in distance each week.
2. I have to pay attention to nutrition and that means everything I put in my body. I am training my body to be an efficient performance machine, so that means I have to make sure I am taking in enough lean proteins, fruits, vegetable, vitamins and hydration to maximise my performance. This also includes cutting down on the fun stuff, alcohol, sweets and treats.
3. Rest, I have to make sure I am getting enough rest and stretching my body while building my core strength.
4. Core strength comes from doing nightly strength training and 1 or two cross training sessions a week of spinning or swimming.
Hopefully, given all of the above I would love to be able to shed another 20 to 30 pounds in the next 8 weeks, so I have less to carry with me on that 26.6 mile run.
I also need to refocus on my fundraising goals, I need to raise a minimum of 2500 for nutrition research, a subject very close to my heart as I have battled with obesity the past 10 years and I want to support nutrition research so my children never have to fight the battles I have fought and am overcoming.
Lastly, I need support, I need encouragement, I need wisdom. Please honk if you see me running, ask me about my running, come do a class with me or run with me, help me fund raise. I need all the support I can get, this is another huge challenge for me to undertake and it starts today. You can support my fundraising by visiting this link, every donation counts, even if you sacrifice one day of a DnD run and donate $5, it all adds up!
http://www.tuftsmarathonchallenge.com/runners/AmandaMcKittrickGonzales
!
1. After I returned, it was soooo cold and I felt like giving myself a 2 week vacation from running, after all, I had trained and worked so hard and earned it, so I felt justified in savoring my accomplishment and relaxing my muscles for a couple of week. Plus with constant snowstorms, my hate of the treadmill and sub 20 degree weather, I was ready for a break.
2. My son, whom I love so much and who has multiple disabilities suffered a downturn and went through a very tough time, forcing the necessity of several doctors appointments and additional attention and love and drain and wear and tear on me. Definitely made me very sad as we worked through helping him get back on track.
3. I then suffered from what was either a nasty three week flu or a chemical pregnancy, either way, for three weeks, I was exhausted, nauseous and overall sick.
This past week , I looked at the calendar and went UH OH! I am running the Boston Marathon in 8 weeks, 8 weeks from today in fact, I need to get on track!!!!
Now for me, running has meant so much to me this past almost full year now and has changed my life in so many ways. I am now a runner and while I know 6 weeks slumps may and will happen, the important thing is that I don't give up. I am never going back to being a sedentary depressed blob. I may still look like a blob, but I am not a sedentary, depressed blob!
I am going to do this and I want to do this, if you believe you can and you commit yourself mentally to a challenge you can and will achieve it.
Last night, I had a talk with myself. No more excuses, no more resting, it is time to take charge, work through the obstacles and get back on track.
That means not just a training change, but of course from now until the marathon, I have to completely change my mental attitude, thinking, and lifestyle.
1. I have to maintain a running schedule of a minimum of three runs a week and a maximum of four, two to three will be shorter runs of 4 to 8 miles and one longer run increasing in distance each week.
2. I have to pay attention to nutrition and that means everything I put in my body. I am training my body to be an efficient performance machine, so that means I have to make sure I am taking in enough lean proteins, fruits, vegetable, vitamins and hydration to maximise my performance. This also includes cutting down on the fun stuff, alcohol, sweets and treats.
3. Rest, I have to make sure I am getting enough rest and stretching my body while building my core strength.
4. Core strength comes from doing nightly strength training and 1 or two cross training sessions a week of spinning or swimming.
Hopefully, given all of the above I would love to be able to shed another 20 to 30 pounds in the next 8 weeks, so I have less to carry with me on that 26.6 mile run.
I also need to refocus on my fundraising goals, I need to raise a minimum of 2500 for nutrition research, a subject very close to my heart as I have battled with obesity the past 10 years and I want to support nutrition research so my children never have to fight the battles I have fought and am overcoming.
Lastly, I need support, I need encouragement, I need wisdom. Please honk if you see me running, ask me about my running, come do a class with me or run with me, help me fund raise. I need all the support I can get, this is another huge challenge for me to undertake and it starts today. You can support my fundraising by visiting this link, every donation counts, even if you sacrifice one day of a DnD run and donate $5, it all adds up!
http://www.tuftsmarathonchallenge.com/runners/AmandaMcKittrickGonzales
!
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