20 mile race

So, I knew I had to try, so i signed up for the legendary pre training Boston marathon race the eastern states 20 mile race with my all ears team running bud Josh. i was nervous going into the race for all of my reasons I have previously discussed. It was pretty amazing to stand next to the legendary Hoyts pre-race. This race starts at Kittery Maine and finishes at Hampton Beach, it is described as a flat and fast course. Hmm, the fist 3 miles were hilly and not flat crossing two bridges and running through downtown Portsmouth, then it got flat and could have been beautiful if not for the 35-40 mile per hour head and cross winds. Running through Rye , NH should have been a beautiful and relaxing experience, but instead it was taxing and exhausting culminating in a mile between 10 and 11 so treacherous that I had my arm up while running and for every step forward was being blown back two steps. At that point I stopped. There was no way I could continue fighting these forces for another 9 miles. It was disappointing, but also exhilarating, I felt great! Not out of breath, legs were not toast. I felt i could have gone farther if not for the winds. it makes me nervous for race day conditions. this is the second long run that has been cut short due to strong headwinds, makes me a bit nervous, but, I have no choice but to stay positive and keep training and moving forward.

Mental Wars

Last week was as far as training weeks go, a terrible, awful, very bad no good week. I got a mental panic and that froze my training. I started the week off Friday with a good run, it was a hilly 5 mile run that started off tough and finished off great. But then a weekend of fun culminated in sick children and exhaustion and work stress and a loss of a long run which then became a week of rest due to a very sick baby, bad weather and work pressures. I being the extremist that I am said ok one week off equals 20 mile race on Sunday. I will blog about that next, but what I have to come to realize is that running is so mentally exhausting. I have a constant fear and pressure that I am an awful runner and a slow runner and a fat runner and I have no business being out there. Then I beat myself up and it keeps me from getting out there. Then I force myself to go and within 30 minutes, I feel great and I love running, I feel strong, I feel alive and I think that this is what makes me happy, this is what I have been missing. When I run regularly, everything in my life falls into place and feels manageable. When I don't run things feel overwhelming and out of control. I have this constant battle of I love running I hate running, when in fact I hate not running.

Training Confusion

Ok I think training for a marathon especially the Boston marathon is a lot more complex than training for a 1/2 marathon. There are tons of different opinions out there on how often and how much to run, how often and how much to cross train. The different types of running you should be doing. All of this has left me very very confused.

The one constant I know is that I need to do a long run of increasing distance each week.

I also now know that I need to focus on running hills for one of my hour long runs each week.

I also have decided to run one temo run each week where I vary my speeds.

I am also considering adding in another run each week just to up my fitness level and see if I can drop a few more pounds.

Cross training is hard, due to limited time.

I have been frustrated by some blogs that are out there right now. I have been looking for resources on fat runers like me and came acrosss one obnoxious man who stated in his blog that fat people had no business running and training for a marathon because it is obviously not working for you.

I am going to keep on trying, keep my head up and know that if I keep working hard and believe in myself, I can do this.

I want to finish even if it takes me 7-8 hours, I want to cross that finish line and fat or not I believe that if you are willing to train and go for it then you should do it with your head held high.

1st Long run on the course

I awoke last Sunday with a huge pit of nervousness in my stomach. It was my first long run on the course with the team. I was filled with insecurities and knew that I would be the slowest, most inexperienced, fatest person running and that is a lot to deal with. This was also combined with the fact that I knew I was behind in my running schedule. My last long run was January 6 the 1/2 marathon. Today was March 7, so I had some ground to make up.

I arrived at the John Hancock center at 8:00am and the one good thing I had on my side was the weather. It was already warm and forecast to be 50 degrees, balmy training weather for the Northeast in March. Of course, I show up and am surrounded by 125 young, perfect and fit people. There are a handful of us on the team over 24 years old, but everyone is more fit than me. I am the only heffalump.

I struck up a conversation with a nice woman who also told me she was a beginner runner and looked to be in the over 35 category. She was kind and offered to run with me when I told her I was slow. She of course blew me away once we started running. I did not realize how hilly this course would be. We started at the finish line and after everyone on the team passed me and I was running alone, I started to enjoy the scenery. I ran through Kenmore square, up Beacon street, up, up, up, was the word that was echoing in my mind. Ran up coolidge corner, up to chestnut hill, up to Boston College and this is where my legs started to fatigue. This run was entirely up hill! Finally I hit Newton and started to run downhill, there were a lot of other runners out there of course all fitter and faster than me. It felt good to finally run downhill and before I knew it, I was at my 7 mile turn around point. I turned around and suddenly realized what I had been running down. HEARTBREAK HILL, gasp, I started wogging up the long, long, long, long incline and finally made it to the top and started retracing my route back.

Everything started to hurt around coolidge corner, my feet, my legs, I was so tired. I slowed down and was doing a steady wog. I ran through Kenmore Square, but when I hit Commonwealth, I had to stop and walk for the first time. Actually limp was more accurate. I limped back to the Prudential Mall and then started jogging again to the finish. I didt it, 14 miles on the course. It was long and painful and slow, but I did it.

I had run from 9 am until 1pm, 4 hours, scary. I am so slow and this really eats at me. How does everyone else run so fast? Why can't I? I was exhausted. I am not a napper, but I actually fell asleep in the car on the ride home. Then I was so tired and so sore that I could barely move the rest of the day. But I did it! The promsing fact is that the next day, I did not feel too badly. I recovered much faster than I had after the half marathon, each week now will bring longer and longer runs and I hope my body is able to improve and rebuild stronger and faster with each run. I have to say I am scared and nervous about how difficult this marathon will be, but I am up to the challenge.

Boston bring it on!